Launch day. Here goes nothing. Clear the runway.
It's day one and so far everything that could be easy has gone a completely different direction than expected. Arriving at the airport somewhat early,the first challenge was finding Terminal 8 – also known as "the hidden terminal". My cab driver (who had just passed his test for a cab license) had never heard of Terminal 8. Luckily the fine TSA folks at The international terminal clued us in – go to Terminal 7 and look to your left, there is a little unmarked section of the terminal that is technically called Terminal 8. Who knew? Finally at the right building, looking down the hall the check-in line was a mile long, the security ine was a mile long and neither one appeared to be moving an inch. After waiting nearly an hour in the line, and getting perilously close to the 45 minute baggage cutoff (did I mention I was carrying 2 large cargo bags?) I stopped a man who was wearing the familiar United Airlines uniform and appeared to be helping people. Turns out if you are relatively nice and ask for help, there are actually people that will help you! Tim (the United agent) grabbed my bags and told me to follow him. At 48 minutes prior to boarding Tim took me directly to the counter and introduced me to Marla. Upon introduction Marla acted like I had found the golden ticket. She welcomed me and with a very friendly demeanor (despite the fact that she clearly had been dealing with a great deal of stress from a long line of frustrated customers) took care of my boarding documents. While she checked my bags through from LAX to YVR (Vancouver) then on to PEK (Beijing) and on to their final destination CTU (Chengdu). She was prompt and efficient even though she had a line of howling passengers complaining, Marla checked me in (after a momentary remark about my passport photo not matching my "blonde" hair) and sent me on my way. Before heading off I asked Marla where the security line was and she directed me to her right.
I walked away from the counter, turned right and was promptly met with a wall. There's no security line here! I flagged down a TSA agent and asked for directions and was told the same thing – it's over to your right! I took it on faith that there was a line somewhere around a corner, headed off toward the direction as indicated. As I passed down the hallway, I was suddenly met with an escalator up – couldn't ever have seen it from down the hall – so I rode the escalator up. Now remember, in this world there are no free lunches – no golden tickets – no magic shortcuts. Wrong. Without question I just stumbled across a worm hole, a black hole, a magic time portal. I reached the top of the escalator and was met with what appeared to be a secret security line! There were only 5 people in line and everyone was moving. I made it through security in nearly four minutes. Then came a seat change. No idea why. Now I've just looked down at my tray table (formerly in its upright and locked positon) and the hinge is hanging, broken – missing a screw. We control nothing.
